Barney Stinson VS Sheldon Cooper Multiverse Match Prediction Blog
“Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together”
- Woodrow T. Wilson
Barney Stinson, the legend-wait for it-dary best bro of Ted from How I Met Your Mother
Sheldon Cooper, the bazinga-ingly brilliant nerdy best friend of Leonard from The Big Bang Theory
Life sucks and then you die, that’s just one of the hard facts of life. But what really makes life worth living are the friends we make along the way, and no two men show off true friendship like these two. Even if they’re completely opposite in personality, they’ll always be there for their best friends even through the most ridiculous of sitcom cliches. Will Sheldon go out in a big bang? Or will Barney meet his end? Let’s see who ends up on top in this Multiverse Match!
Background
Barney Stinson
“When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story”
Barney Stinson was born in the 1970’s as a very excitable child raised by his single mother and grew up with his half-brother, James. For a long time Barney believed his father was the TV host, Bob Barker, until he discovered his biological father is Jerome Whittaker. Jerome took Barney to the museum when he was six and was seen as a bad influence on him, but before Jerome left for good he left Barney with one piece of advice, “Never Stop Partying.”
This always stuck with Barney throughout the years but only really stuck out after the worst thing happened to him, his girlfriend Shannon cheated on him with a wealthy businessman named Greg who also humiliated Barney for being a hippie. But within this great tragedy, came a perseverance of the human spirit… and a brochure for a suit sale. While Greg may have embarrassed and belittled him before, Barney took a page out of his look and suited up. Where Barney became a businessman himself at AltruCell Corporation that eventually led to him working with the FBI and getting Greg fired, the ultimate comeback story.
But even with all this success, Barney was empty inside. That is until he met Ted Mosby in the bathroom at MacLaren’s, it was at this moment Barney decided that they will be best friends for life. Ted gave Barney companionship, Barney gave Ted life advice and ways to bang some babes. Barney sees this as a way to teach Ted how to truly live and sees Ted’s other friends, Lily and Marshall in the same vein. While the gang often wonders why they continually put up with Barney and let him join the group, they still love and respect him as their friend more and more as the series goes on.
Everything stays normal for the most part until one day Barney introduces Ted to Robin Scherbatsky at MacLaren’s where they kinda hit it off and become friends. Creating the story that began the series itself, “How I Met Your Mother.”
What followed was a bunch of events for 9 seasons that followed Ted dating a bunch of women, Marshall and Lily getting married, Barney meeting his real father and getting married to Robin… before breaking it off and her getting with Ted instead. Many misadventures and sitcom situations may have happened along the way but Barney remained one thing, one hell of a bro. And without him, Ted’s kids never would’ve really known the story of how he met their mother.
Sheldon Cooper
Sheldon Cooper was born in the 1980’s as a Texan with a genius mind, even as just a child he was brilliant while creating several genius inventions and machines. Even though he was raised in a super christian household by his mother, he had completely grown into science. Even finishing college at 14 and gaining his first PHD at only 16 years old, Sheldon was out to make a name for himself in the world of science and destined for great things.
And eventually, he would. But that’s a very long… probably 12 seasons of the main series and 6 seasons of a prequel show’s worth of media to sit through, but to begin Sheldon’s real saga of story would start with him meeting Leonard Hofstadter in 2003 after all of Sheldon’s previous roommates had left him. Even if Sheldon weirded out Leonard like almost everyone in all of Sheldon’s life, Leonard still moved in with him and began both of their greatest friendships of all time. Which proved Sheldon wrong all those years ago about forever being alone, a statement that would continue to change as Sheldon grew older gaining his best friend, several new friends, meeting his heroes, and meeting the love of his life, Mark Hamil- I mean Amy Fowler.
But these friendships and major events in his life would have never begun if not for the beginning of it all, Sheldon and Leonard meeting their new next door neighbor Penny. While they may have had a rocky relationship at first, they later would grow to be some of their closest friends. Of which all of Sheldon’s friends such as Leonard, Penny, Raj, Howard, Bernadette, and especially Amy would lead to Sheldon’s discovery of his Super-Asymmetry Theory which would give Sheldon a Nobel Prize.
Sheldon would share many journeys and misadventures with his friends along the way but the Nobel Prize will forever remain Sheldon’s greatest achievement in his life. That is until we hear from future Sheldon in Young Sheldon, where we know he has children with Amy with one being named after Sheldon’s best friend, Leonard.
While Sheldon has his jerky moments with the gang and has his arguments, at the end of the day he will always be a friend to them. Which at the end of the day, can be reflective of real life. While we don’t go to the extent Sheldon would usually, we all do have our own problems that we put onto our friends. But in the end, it doesn’t matter. Friends will always be friends, and the bond between Sheldon and Leonard is the most unbreakable in the universe, that all started with a big bang.
Arsenal
Barney Stinson
The Suit
The Suit, the magnificent work of art known as only his suit. The perfect tool to hook up with any woman he wishes that always works as planned for a legendary night
Laser Tag Gun
The magnificent game of sport, not particularly useful but I’m sure if you flash someone in the eyes with it’ll do some damage
Bird
He has a bird, he usually will either just pull it out or open it inside of an egg
T-Shirt Cannon
Look out for a Bangtoberfest T-Shirt rapidly approaching you at 60 mph
Glass of Scotch
Barney’s drink of choice that fuels every part of him
Sword
Stabby stab stab
He can also pull this out of his suit like magic
Juggling Swords
Triple Stabby Stab Stab
Triple X-Ray Goggles
Can see through anything but lead
(Also doesn’t actually work but bleh)
Binoculars
Multiple pairs of binoculars he can use to prank from a distance
Disguise Mastery
Quite a lot of costumes despite how much he loves his suits
Exploding Meatball Sub
The ultimate revenge on Marshall
The Play Book
The perfect advice for all his best plays, making fake websites to look famous, Secret NASA or “SNASA”, going up to a woman and saying “he’s not coming”, being a genie, being a scuba diver, etc.
Magic
Sparklers, Birds, Cards, Rings, Wands, Handkerchiefs, Flowers, Hats, Confetti, Bunnies, and more
The Bro Code
The code of which all bros must aspire to follow that’s existed since whatever is more than centuries, replacing the Bible in certain Hotels
Sheldon Cooper
Germ Spray
May not look like much besides a spray to get rid of dirty germs but I’m sure this would sting anyone in the face
Pie
A deliciously diabolical prank
Hulk Hands
Great confidence booster, not great weaponry
Fencing Sword
Briefly trained in Fencing under Kripke
Foamy Vengeance
Vengeance in its foamiest form, great for getting people in sticky situations
Gas Mask
Stops any unwanted toxins entering your systems like-
Flammable Gas
A very smelly flammable gas made out of hydrogen sulfide and ammonia gas or “pest control.”
Flashlight Headband and Glowstick
Fun in the dark during blackouts
Paintball Gun
Things are gonna get messy
Laser Cannon
Possibly Sheldon would have this Laser Cannon since it just is within his home, but isn’t gonna be particularly useful anyways as it mainly just fires a singular small blast that can pop balloons
Emotion Detector
Probably not very useful to know your opponent in a fight is probably mad at you but it’s the thought that counts
MONTE
Mobile Omnidirectional Neutralization and Termination Eraticator… or MONTE
Reverse Toilet
What goes down must come up… or something
(Again technically not Sheldon’s but it’s a possible part of his arsenal)
The Shelbot
If Sheldon doesn’t want to face his problems head on, he can always just face his problems with a robot that has a monitor of his head on top
Electric Hand
Shake his hand for a shocking surprise
The Bird Death Ray
Technically it’s just an ultrasonic ray to scare off the bird… but I think we all know what it is
Abilities
Barney Stinson
Intro Manipulation
Somewhat has 4th wall manipulation in that he can change the intro to the series in both visuals and song twice
Situation Creation
While this has its limits (that being completely absurd and impossible ones) Barney has an ability to take people into a fabricated situation he created in his mind such as being in a Mariachi Band, Taking a Horse, Jumping off the Statue of Liberty, etc.
Picture Perfect
Physically impossible for him to have a bad picture
Suit Creation
He fires concentrated lasers from his hands that produce a suit over anything
Artistic Talent
Barney is a very talented artist who can draw even without looking at the paper
Master Chef
Barney created a super elaborate ruse that he hated Asian food and using chopsticks for months so he could see Lily topless
Predator Vision
Can sense body heat while making a clicking noise like the Predator
Fireball
Barney is filled with a white hot rage that fires an actual fireball
(From his sleeves but whatever)
Pyrokinesis
He lights a paper in his hands on fire
Time Travel
Barney from 20 years in the future appeared right next to Ted after he closed his eyes
(Again, also not real but 🦍)
Time Freeze
Barney completely froze time for 11 seconds
Teleportation
Barney seemingly teleports from outside the apartment to inside Ted’s room while carrying a Vespa and then a boat with a duplicate of himself carrying the other end, along with basically teleporting next to Marshall when he says Lily had a sex dream
Duplication
Multiple Barney’s were moving things out of Ted’s apartment and multiple Barney’s were assembled in the council of players.
He also created a second version of himself that represented his Canadian side.
Telepathy
Limited telepathy that he uses to mentally communicate with Ted while listening to Kokomo by The Beach Boys, but he communicates to Robin and Ted normally as well
This appears to just be a normal thing in the verse that everyone can do
Sheldon Cooper
Genius Intellect
Sheldon is a super genius that has created many brilliant inventions and experiments that even Elon Musk copied when Sheldon was a child
Eidetic Memory
He can recall an image he only briefly saw moments before
Unusually Heightened Senses
Even as just a kid he could smell and hear things from different rooms, had extremely sensitive tasting, etc.
Super Speed
He’s the Flash
Zoom Zoom
Master of Dance
Very talented dancer
Super Scream
A very loud yell for when he’s extremely angry that could reach out of the atmosphere
Feats
Barney Stinson
Overall
Strength
Slapped Marshall around (25,000 Joules)
Punched a hole in a wall (397.2 Joules)
Speed
Ran from his top floor office to McLaren's in less than 7 seconds
Basically teleported from outside the building to in front of Marshall before he could notice
Runs 26 miles in basically an hour (11.6 m/s)
Ran from Ted’s apartment to a bar in presumably less than 25 seconds
Moves to the Bathroom fast enough he wasn’t able to be seen after the fact (192.97 m/s or Subsonic +)
Faster than a camera flash (239,850.628 m/s to potentially Relativistic speeds)
Durability
Got hit by a Bus (13,979.79 Joules)
Got slapped with the slap of a million sins (Multi Solar System)
Sheldon Cooper
Overall
Invents several games such as Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock
Screamed “Wheaton” so loud that it could be heard from outside the atmosphere (potentially 194 decibels or 23.313 Teratons of TNT)
Credit to Ray-Man for the Calculation
Strength
Hits Leonard (150 Joules)
The Bird Death Ray could shatter several window panes (3,261.15 Joules)
Speed
Can run up and down a few flights of stairs in around 30 seconds
Moved faster than Leonard in a ballpit (3.5 m/s on average)
As the Flash he ran from Pasadena to the Grand Canyon in 22 seconds (30,577.54 m/s)
Does the same as before in a much smaller time frame of 0.88 seconds (875,629.443 m/s)
Durability
Hit by Penny (150 Joules)
Weaknesses
Barney Stinson
Super Egotistical
Usually is hurt himself after hitting someone
Would do basically anything to have sex (as long as it isn’t against his friends or the bro code)
Accepts any challenge, even ones he made up
Jinxes
Family Issues
Sheldon Cooper
Countless fears and annoyances
Cannot read emotions very well
(formerly) afraid of birds
Will have a meltdown if something does not go his way
Kind of a bad friend for the most part
Family Issues
Summary
Barney Stinson
Advantages:
Stronger
More Durable
Possibly faster with the Camera Flash feat
Outhaxes Sheldon
Abilities should most likely trump most of Sheldon’s arsenal of machinery
Can very much overwhelm Sheldon in his sheer magnitude of abilities
Actual fighting experience
Barney’s street smarts are more applicable in a fight scenario
The better Bro
Disadvantages:
Slower without the Camera Flash
Not as intelligent
T-Shirt gun gets countered by the Paintball gun
Sheldon’s variety of machines could distract Barney from attacking him head on
Sheldon’s flammable gas would be disastrous against the fireball and pyrokinesis
Fencing Sword > Prop Sword
The super scream would one shot if given the chance
Sheldon Cooper
Advantages:
Smarter
Faster
Better Arsenal overall
Got over his fear of birds
Reverse Toilet can suck up any projectiles
Flammable gas counters fireball and pyrokinesis
Super Scream would one shot
Could potentially immobilize Barney with Foamy Vengeance
Pretty decent range advantage with all of his inventions and even his voice itself
Fencing sword is superior to the prop sword
Disadvantages:
Weaker
Would be slower if the Camera Flash feat is used
Less Durable
Not very experienced in fighting
Gets outhaxxed and overwhelmed in abilities
His weaknesses are much more exploitable than Barney’s would be
More often than not, Street Smarts > Actual Smarts
Verdict
Team Barney
Drhippotime
As stated by the advantages and disadvantages where it said Sheldon should be much faster, there is a very good chance you can consider that an outlier. Consider that there is no cut to Sheldon putting on the suit or running while Leonard is still setting the thermostat, it just immediately goes to Sheldon’s perspective as if he ran to the Grand Canyon and back. And the latter feat listed is even more shaky as it can really be considered simply as a gag statement alone and nothing substantial enough to be factored in as Sheldon’s normal speed. Compare this shaky feat and statement to that of Barney constantly being faster than a camera can process his entire life and being faster than Marshall can see him twice. Making this very similar to the other sitcom battle, The Fonz vs Steve Urkel, changed however to that The Fonz is the one with better stats that are consistent and Urkel is the one on the back foot with just gadgets, intellect and inconsistent feats. Making the fight similar in the same vein that while one of these feats are much faster and more impressive, the other is much more consistent. And if you so choose to compare Sheldon’s best speed feat (that being the gag Flash feat) to Barney’s best speed feat (the low end for the Camera Flash), the difference is only 3.65 times. Sheldon’s number may seem much more impressive at face value but it’s far from a stomp in Sheldon’s favor.
Onto Barney’s actual advantages however we reach strength and durability, while Sheldon with the Flash feat would potentially be able to A-Train through his opponent and splatter his guts everywhere… somehow I doubt he’d do that. Along with the super scream which would do a similar tactic of potentially splattering Barney’s brains to mush. Although the latter is a much more valid win con, I see it much more likely that Sheldon would try hitting Barney or use his inventions/arsenal on him that would lead to no prevail. Barney’s bus feat and constant slapping feats make him much stronger and much more durable than any of Sheldon’s machine’s attack capabilities. Reaching differences of Barney being 7.6 times stronger than Sheldon’s Death Ray, and a 93.19 times difference between their durability.
A much more substantial and massive difference than Sheldon’s speed advantage, especially considering that Sheldon has a major lack in fighting experience, aside from a few punches or scuffles, The Big Bang Theory verse really isn’t pulling much to the table in terms of physicality.
But the most major point I would like to discuss is Barney’s sheer magnitude and power of abilities at his disposal. While items such as the fireball and T-shirt cannon get countered by Sheldon’s weaponry, Sheldon has no way to stop Barney’s time manipulation, situation manipulation, teleportation and duplication powers. Along with that the pyrokinesis or fireball could also potentially harm Sheldon even more than it would to Barney with the Flammable Gas. Especially while multiple Barney’s are attacking Sheldon while teleporting with only one needing to stop time and end the fight in a single blow, I believe the speed gap if you choose to go with the flash feats, will no longer matter in the end.
Overall, while Sheldon has some impressive one off feats, Barney is from a series of pure ridiculousness and random gags that defy all logic and reasoning meanwhile Sheldon is from a series that’s whole idea is of science and facts. While there are some extremely out of the realm of reality moments, Big Bang Theory tries to be mostly grounded in reality. I believe Barney is too strong, too tough, too experienced, too powerful, and too much of a bro to lose this fight, the winner of this Multiverse Match is Barney Stinson.
Team Sheldon
The Garfield Guy And Yultehdoof
Barney Stintson is clearly the winner of this MU due to his superior stats and abilities… Bazinga. There are many holes to be pointed in the conclusion above, and as a scientist’s duty, that will not stand.
Consider that the camera flash feat could be considered not a feat at all. In all the ensuing quips Barney makes in the camera’s aftermath, he refers to in a way that implies the camera does all the photo editing by itself in the episode itself, he blatantly says he doesn’t know how he gets a perfect photo. A counter argument could be made that this is Barney over-exaggerating to hype himself up, but it would just as easily be a way of photos with him warping into his signature pose. Another dispute is that he was caught off guard and failed at the end of the episode, but that would be a separate problem. Nothing suggests his perception of reality changes when a photo is snapped, and his sneeze should therefore not affect his reaction or movement speed.
In reality, Sheldon should win relatively easily as Flash above Barney’s speed. This is a major advantage for Sheldon as one of Barney’s major win-cons (stopping time and cloning himself to overwhelm Sheldon) would be practically negated because Sheldon would be fast enough to remove/potentially kill (It’s know it’s not really in his nature but it is still in his list of options) the Barney clones before they have a chance of doing any major harm.
Now onto the arsenal and abilities portion of the debate. While Barney does have a few useful abilities, namely time manipulation and cloning, Sheldon counters nearly everything else that he brings to the table as the reverse toilet could suck up and shoot out any projectiles, the paintball gun is a more powerful version of the T-Shirt Cannon, and the fireball and pyrokinesis could potentially ignite Sheldon’s flammable gas which would heavily injure Barney. As a final nail in the coffin, Sheldon’s much higher intelligence and strategic mind shown in paintball would allow him to use his wide array of inventions in a more effective way than how Barney would use his abilities. To clarify, Barney has never actually used his clones or time manipulation in a direct fight so while they would be useful, it wouldn't be his go to option unlike Sheldon who has actually used his varied arsenal of machines in “combat” scenarios before, making it more likely that he’d pull out the important stuff such as his super speed, MONTE, ultrasonic ray, and the toilet before Barney pulls a time huh.
While Barney’s universe certainly is more cartoonish and zany in comparison to the Big Bang Theory, it is fitting, in a way, that he loses. Though the zaniness and goofiness of the universe may seem like an unpredictable mess, facts, logic, and a bit of good math will always prevail. In the end, his intelligence, huge edge in speed, power, superior arsenal, and musical talent should allow Sheldon Cooper to become the winner of this Multiverse Match.
… The Other Stuff
Drhippotime
So now we get into the complicated side of the matchup, there’s been a great deal of discussion between the researchers for this and we’ve come across the major point of both having ways to just… instantly win depending on what you believe is standard or not an outlier or you just take everything as fair use. Which we can break down into different sections;
The Super Scream
Recently a calc was done by Ray-Man (thank you) that got the “WHEATON!” scream to 23.313 Teratons of TNT. Which would both scale to Sheldon as an attack and as durability. If you chose to give this to Sheldon and not think it is an outlier or gag feat, this would make Sheldon “fucking Invincible!”
Barney has no possible way of winning if you so choose to give this to Sheldon, all of his abilities and his possible speed advantage would be meaningless against an unstoppable force such as Sheldon Cooper.
The Camera Flash
Barney has the ability of being in a completely perfect pose within a picture, but later in the episode he does this while a camera flash goes off. Meaning he himself moved faster than this flash of light, while there isn’t a specific number in mind, this potentially could yield Relativistic results. Which compared to even Sheldon’s fastest Flash feat, is child’s play in comparison.
This also has the same issues as the scream stated above but this would be much more useable considering How I Met Your Mother’s consistency in the absurd.
Could Sheldon win without the scream?
If you compare a screamless Sheldon against a Camera Flash Barney, Barney takes the stat trinity and stomps in abilities. There is no way Sheldon wins in this case.
Could Barney win without the Camera Flash?
If you compare a Flashless Barney against a Screaming Sheldon… no.
Barney has 0 wincons against a Country level Sheldon.
What if you give them both?
Unfortunately even if Barney had a massive speed edge, Sheldon is way too strong and durable. This is quite literally the baby vs hydrogen bomb meme.
And if you would do the reverse and make it so that neither are used, it is much closer but Sheldon still has no real way to put down Barney with only a slight speed edge.
So what should be used?
Like an epic rap battle of history, YOU DECIDE!!!!
Formulate your own opinion and decide what you think should be used as a gag feat or an outlier, then tell us your vote.
Bazinga.
The Votes
Team Barney- Drhippotime
Team Sheldon- Garfeild Guy, YulTehDoof
Winner
UPDATE
Now with both gag feats and regular feats in mind and with the research provided within the official episode itself
Barney Stinson is the undisputed winner.
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